psychological effects of crashing

I swear, I think I had PTSD from crashing 2 years ago, when I was on this freeway going through a mountain and hit mud on a corner and got KO'd and broke my hand. I didn't really think about it, but 2 months after I crashed I knew I wanted to start riding again so I got a new bike, 2000 FXDX. I loved it, but then after hopping on the freeway I just got severe anxiety and couldn't really think about anything but getting off at the next exit. It felt like an anxiety attack every time I went over 50, where I just couldn't stop thinking about what'd happen if I ate it or didn't brake in time or something. That feeling of wind hitting you, even with a windshield, where you know you're going over 50 just felt terrifying, and I'd look down at the road and see how fast I'm going and imagine sliding on it. I couldn't make myself go over 55mph even when traffic was going faster, so I'd just get off the freeway asap.Even going around corners at 30 freaked me out for a bit. I'd check the road to see if there's anything like mud or oil (should anyway I guess, but this was kinda obsessive), and I'd slow way down. Eventually a year later I felt way more comfortable on my new bike and I was taking corners at 40 again no problem, but there was still that fear whenever I hit 50, just felt like i was going way too fast even on roads where that was the speed limit.For a while I just took side streets and convinced myself that it was okay since I was having fun anyway, just felt stupid to ride but be afraid of going on the freeway. I wasn't even sure if I should keep riding because it just felt dumb, like I wasn't really taking advantage of riding. But it was fun so I went riding every weekend regardless. But a few months ago I started going more down this road that is speed limit 50 until I felt more and more comfortable on it, then last two weeks I started going on the freeway in some traffic where it was 55 to 60mph, and at first I was white knuckling it, but forced myself to stick on it for at least 20 minutes, a little more each time. I'd go down on the freeway and take side streets back, then take the freeway there and back, and eventually it started to feel more natural.Finally hit a breakthrough today and spent all day on the freeway by the ocean, cruising at 60 - 70 mph (mostly because of traffic) for the last 4 hours. And it felt fucking amazing and I stopped freaking out, and just started really enjoying it and loving rolling on the throttle when the path was clear. For the first time in a long time hitting 65+ mph felt really good, the wind hitting me felt amazing, and it was all just enjoyment and very little anxiety, practically none.I dunno if anyone has been in a similar spot, but I just want to say it can take time to get over it, but it's very, very worth it. I think it messed me up because I was just starting to ride more seriously on the freeway before I crashed (had only been riding for a year), and that was previously my longest ride ever and it just felt like a direct result of taking the freeway or something like that. Took me a long while to trust that I could handle it, but now I feel amazingly free. I'm really glad I kept to it and didn't just give up. via /r/motorcycles https://www.reddit.com/r/motorcycles/comments/cm3v9m/psychological_effects_of_crashing/?utm_source=ifttt