Depression and motorcycles?

I just wanted to see if anyone had a similar experience. Pls don't upvote, I'm a bit embarrassed.I picked up motorcycle riding as a hobby in April of this year, it became easily my favorite thing to do. I've had a lot of trauma happen in my life (parent dying unexpectedly, fiance leaving) and lost the sense of who I was. A couple years ago if you were ask anyone to describe me and they'd easily use the words bold, bright, fiery... I was full of life. I was the friend if you told me to do a backflip I'd do my damndest.Shit happened and I clammed up, became an anxious and depressed wreck, etc. After a few years of this I decided enough was enough and bought my bike. I fell in love the minute I rolled on the throttle. I honestly started feeling like my old self, it was like the light returned to my eyes, I felt a new sense of freedom. I rode my bike every second I could, almost daily for at least an hour at a time. The only time I didn't feel any anxiety (well the crippling kind lol) was when I hopped on two wheels...I had been feeling kinda down and then had my first bike accident due to a family of deer a little over a month ago, went down at a little over 40, bruised the bones in my left leg and messed up my shoulder (somehow my bike took very little damage, the scratches will buff out). Still healing. It sucks. I just got to the point of where I'm starting to trust myself on my bike again.Afterwards I had never felt so lucky, I was... happier than ever? I was thankful, I loved myself more, I loved my friends more, I loved my bike more but was extremely upset with myself for hurting her.This lasted until today, and now I'm more depressed than ever? Has anyone experienced this? Does anyone know why I'm having such an extreme drop? I should be elated that I'm here, like I was in the beginning... except that I'm not.Please tell me I'm not the only one that has experienced this because I feel extremely ungrateful and like I'm going crazy. via /r/motorcycles https://www.reddit.com/r/motorcycles/comments/9ry945/depression_and_motorcycles/?utm_source=ifttt